It's A Wonderful Life is the Best Christmas Movie Ever No Contest Not Up for Debate End of Discussion

This movie. God, I love it. There's just nothing else that screams "It's Christmastime!" like watching George Bailey get pummeled by life at every turn. And within this most favorite of Christmas movies is one of my most favorite movie moments. Sometimes when watching this for the eighteenth time in a single season, I'll stop it after this point, just to save George some of the heartache afterwards, especially if I don't have the time to watch him all the way out of it. The moment I'm referring to is of course this:
 

 

 

 

 

 

Perfect.

If you don't immediately recognize the screenshot above, then I just don't even know what to do with you.

Merry Christmas.

In Which I Spend the Greater Part Complaining About a Show I Actually Like

I miss Connie Britton

In addition to sampling the new fall lineup, I've also been catching up on some shows I missed due to my lack of a television. Among the treasure trove of seasons past that is Netflix, I found the second season of American Horror Story: Asylum. I absolutely loved the first season, Murder House, as it did that difficult thing of making a legitimately scary show funny and enjoyable without being overtly corny. I was hoping the second go around would be just as, if not more amazing.

Alas.

Asylum is not that solid followup to an arguably flawless first season, and I think I know why that is for me. It's not the acting; that's damn near perfect. An increase in Jessica Lange screen time is just about the best decision any show can make (even if she is not, up to that point, even a part of said show). It's not the ambiance, that's still scary as hell. Plus, they kept that super creepy music for the intro which I believe is now the soundtrack for every terrorizing dream I've had since. So what is it?

It's the story. It's just not plain and simple enough, and in order for things to really be scary they have to be understood and have some point of base in fact and familiarity. Take this: were I to sum up the first season of American Horror Story I would say "a nice family moves into a house haunted by all the people who have ever died there." Easy. Simply. Scary as shit. So now I'll do it for the second season - "a young man is accused of killing a string of women, including his wife, and is sent to an asylum where a crazy-maybe-Nazi surgeon is experimenting on the inmates and also possibly there's an alien there and also I'm pretty sure one of the nuns is the devil and then there's Jessica Lange."

Even this kid is confused...and he's in the show!

Huh?

A couple things. First, taking something that is already scary (like an insane asylum) and making it...um...scary seems easy but in fact it's not. It kind of ruins the element of surprise; there's this expectation already that this is a creepy place so making it even creepier is difficult to do. Second, the concept is too ambitious. You've got aliens, which is a hard enough sell on their own, but now you've also got the devil himself (herself?) and to top it off there's a serial killer on the loose. And there's a Nazi doctor creating deranged, flesh eating monsters out of the patients. That's a lot.

I'll have what she's having.

It all lacks the subtlety and the impeccable timing that the first season had. It's all very in your face and hyper-sensationalized, hyper-real, hyper-sexual. Even the opening, with that music that is like the auditory representation of skin crawling, is too overdone. Murder House started out with seemingly mundane old (and yes, creepy) photos of small children, babies, mixed with fetal pigs in jars and some flames and then the pictures were a little more sinister, babies now in coffins with eyes closed, surgical instruments. It developed; it gave you that feeling that what you were looking at might otherwise be unimportant old pictures except you just know that there's something awful about them. In the opening to Asylum, there are people jumping out at you, walking backwards up the stairs, a nun crawling on top of an unwilling surgery patient. It's just so overt that there's no room to imagine all the ways this might become super scary because you've been presented with all the possibilities at once and when you know that what you see is what you get then you relax a little. No surprises here.

I've only just finished episode six, so to be fair there's a chance all these separate and seemingly convoluted plot points will seamlessly transition into one interconnected web of horror and gore and super scary stuff. I'm actually willing to stick around for this probability. Also, the show itself may feel like a mess in its entirety, but the parts are more than the sum. The acting is good, great even, and thank the gods for original programing that really puts in the effort to deliver something that illicits some kind of emotion, even if it doesn't always deliver the screams.

I'll keep watching, mostly because I do think it is a good show and a great concept for a series, but also because my standards are apparently dismally low. And you know, I have to give credit because this last episode "The Origins of Monstrosity" was actually really good. There was that amazing twist that feels so rewarding because they gave you every opportunity to figure it out beforehand. And then the reveal was like "Bam! Didn't see that one coming, but I should have. I really should have." That's the greatest kind of twist. I take it all back. I love this show.    

I'm a Terrible Person and Should Not Be Allowed to Live

It's Saturday, I have some free time on my hands and what am I doing with it? I'm hate-watching this:

Awful, awful show.

We've been through how I feel about this, and I'm going to continue to not only watch it but complain the entire time that it's the worst thing that has happened to television in...let's just say ever. It's so overdone, tacky clothes and tacky dialogue and tacky music - I can't stop watching. 

And it gets worse. At the same time I'm eagerly checking Hulu to see if a new episode of this accursed show has finally been released (and experiencing the painful disappointment when I realize it has that annoying little H+ in the corner, symbolizing that I've been denied access) I am also taking a disgustingly long time to read a real book with some real awards. This:

What is wrong with me?

According to my Kindle, I'm 46% of the way through this Prometheus Award winner and I can't seem to muster even a fraction of the urgency I feel to get to a new episode of a show I'm too embarrassed to admit to loved ones that I even know exists. On the one hand we have a Nebula Award winning novel by Margaret Atwood and on the other you have the latest attempt by the CW to promote what boils down to a lengthy music video for that one Lorde song.

Maybe it's more than just bad taste. There is something cathartic about junk TV, the same way it feels good to eat out of that big tub labelled "cheese balls" and drink boxed wine. It feels kind of good to just hate something while hoping against hope that you're wrong and it will turn out to be really awesome. And then it doesn't.

So, Margaret Atwood vs the CW:

CW 1

Atwood 0

I'm the worst.

Fall Shows I'm Trying to Like: Let's Just Wrap This Up

Also, my blog looks different. It was such a mess; why didn't anyone tell me? Plus, that wasn't even my desk anymore. I could just take a shot on my current desk, but between the used tissues, plate with toast crumbs and the backlight from a dirty window I just don't think that would be an improvement. What, clean up first? Please.

Almost Human

Bones, I love you too.

Because I can't get enough of Bones from the new Star Trek and that other guy somehow manages to look EXACTLY like what I imagine a cyborg would look like, I'm giving this show my stamp of approval. I mean, it's fun, the acting is exactly what it should be for this kind of show and there's some good action and mystery here to keep you coming back. If anything, it proves that I have no personal vendetta against Fox programing in general. Yes and yes.

The Wrong Mans

Adorable.

I love this show the same way you love a kitten with three legs. It's flawed, you can't really take it seriously as a danger, but darn it if you don't want to take it home and make it a bed out of a shoe box and an old cardigan. This is one of those Hulu original series that really hits the right note, a comedy with some mystery and light violence that almost makes it feel dangerous but not really. The synopsis: that skinny guy on the left answers a phone at the scene of a crash he's just witnessed and the man on the other end claims he will kill the hostage if the money isn't paid. What money? What hostage? This dude is barely able to get to work on time, there's just no way he's equipped to handle this level of intrigue. Enter the slightly less skinny guy on the right, the hilariously fervent and socially awkward office mail boy who's Kung Fu abilities may be all in his head but he's so confident and earnest that just maybe he'll accidentally knock someone out. It's cute, clever and just fun. 

Trophy Wife

Red leather shorts - I wish!

Aside from what may be described as an unhealthy ability to completely overlook the flaws in anything containing Bradley Whitford, I contend that this show is quality comedy. It's funny, that's the bottom line, but also there's a good built-in dynamic with the two ex wives being so opposite each other and always so present in the life of this new wife, plus the kids are also not annoying (which, again, is all I really ask in this world). It's just something you watch when you really don't have anything else to do and then you sit back and go "huh; I like this." Easygoing television. 

That's it. I'm tired of talking about TV instead of watching it, so... 

Also, pertaining to the visual representation of my blog here (because I know so many are interested), I'm open to suggestions or trite insults. Bring it on.  

 

Fall Shows I'm Trying to Like Part Two: Sleepy Hollow

Yeah, I'm going to just get right into it: I don't like this show. I don't overtly dislike it, I just don't like it. And I've given it plenty of time, like seven episodes, which is an adequate amount of time to really figure out if a show is making it on your watch list or not. What's confusing me about my own opinion here is other people's opinions.

People love this show!

Not one, but three friends have told me how much they enjoy it, how funny it is, how scary, how much they like the look of it. It's got a 7.8/10 on IMDB. This person says it's one of the season's three breakout hits. It already has a guaranteed second season. I don't understand, so I'm going to break it down in the hopes of finding out just where it goes wrong for me.

The Story:

Here's something: it's a little complicated. Just for reference, here is my previous experience with the notion  of Sleepy Hollow from childhood:

Classic Crane. 

And then there was this:

Ichabod got slightly, slightly sexier.

I'm going to go ahead and admit that I loved these previous two versions. Loved them. "Heads Will Roll" - hilarious. So from the start I am ready, excited even, to welcome a third installment into the Hall of Hollow. But this? Ichabod Crane in the future because his witch wife (no, like she has magic) preserved him until a time when the headless horsemen will return and usher in the apocalypse? Makes total sense. 

It's not the stretch, though. For someone who shamelessly and overtly loves Once Upon a Time, I can't stand on any grounds of requiring a simple or even believable plot. The time travel, the colonial flashbacks, the biblical references - this isn't my beef. It's got to be something else. 

The Characters:

I find the acting good. It's good. No one really annoys me here. If I may be a bit picky, the Crane accent kind of sticks out. In a kind of opposite way as Dracula, the British accent in a sea of American accents kind of feels...contrived? I understand it's meant to set him apart, as well as necessary for the whole historical accuracy thing, but mostly I think it's to really emphasize those moments where this guy is so adorably befuddled by this modern world (that sort of winking charm usually works on me, but in this instance I find myself scowling in a really unattractive, old biddy kind of way). 

He's fine, she's fine, those other two are okay.

Okay, so it's not really the story, or the characters, so what? I don't like Fox? I don't like TV as a whole? Why can't I just put my finger on what it is I don't like about this show? It's impossible; I'll never know. 

Actually, I know. I totally know. 

Chemistry. Specifically, there not being any. Not between Abbie and Crane, not between Crane and his wife Katrina, not between anyone and anyone else. And where's the interpersonal conflict? Crane and the Headless Horseman don't really have that intense rivalry and hatred that personalizes their fight, Abbie's defensive and standoffish attitude doesn't really cause specific problems for her, I have absolutely no burning desire to see Crane and his wife reunite (and I really, really want to want this); everything is just kind of lukewarm. The most dynamic character is Abbie's sister, who at least brings some intensity and a kind of friction into the mix. 

I feel nothing. Nothing.

Almost everyone I know is watching this show. Why I can't get into it, just relax and enjoy the tepid environment, is beyond me but the fact is I don't care. I don't care about what's happening and I don't have that feeling like if this happens, or that doesn't happen, I will just die. I want that feeling. 

Because I'm crazy.