I Don't Write Too Good These Days

I considered committing the double grammatical offense of using "to" instead of "too," but you know what, I think you get it. Ugh, I can't explain my frustration with how rusty a writer I've become. While I was off getting a monetarily useful education, my part-time hobby/dream/someday possibly monetarily successful writing went underground in my brain and digging it up again has proved a little more difficult than I thought it might be.

Since Monday, I've written 15 pages and one long narrative outlining the entire story. Still, only 15 pages of actual script, and those were come by with great wailing and gnashing of teeth. And internet surfing. And Millionaire Matchmaker viewing (you know, cable is as much a curse as it is a wonderful, wonderful blessing).

There are a couple of things that I have done right, I think. The first was to write out a narrative of my screenplay, from beginning to end, as if it was already completed and I was giving a detailed account of the movie to someone else. This really exposed those weak areas of my story, as I could imagine what that other person would say at certain points, both flattering and not so much. The other thing about this is it forced me to make decisions I was putting off, and it also showed me when I was making a character do something that was outside the realm of belief for that character, which I then had to fix before moving on.

The other thing I did was I actually sat down and wrote the thing. No, seriously, it's astounding how much writing does get done when you sit down to actually write. And one of the most important principles to follow when writing is to press through. Don't leave the computer because you've suddenly hit a part of your story that is hard to figure out. Set a page goal, or word goal, and don't get up until it's met. Internet shopping? Fine. Check your email inbox? Sure. But you don't get to shut the computer down for the day until your goal is met.

So, to recap, keys to writing: write. Every day, if at all humanly possible. And don't give up.

Out of the Frying Pan, Now Suspended in that Dead Space Preceding the Fire

What have I been doing!? No post since February! And the last two not real posts, anyway. Taking a look back, I Graduated nursing school (hip-hip-hooray), sold a house, moved to another state and now I have a whole month before I start my residency/job. So of course, I'm going to write a screenplay. No, not write a screenplay, finish a screenplay. A first draft of a screenplay. Yeah. That sounds good.

But what to write? I have a really fleshed out alien rom/com (I may have mentioned it), however looking back at all my notes and my first 50 pages I realized that time and distance had given me something: insight. It's terrible. I'm a terrible writer. It's almost ridiculous how blind you can be to your own terribleness.

So what now? Rescue this pile of worn out plot points and two-dimensional characters from their mediocre imprisonment, or start anew? Start anew with what? It's been two years since I've fleshed out anything; is this going to be like riding a bike (easy peasy) or playing Moonlight Sonata on the piano (not a chance in hell).

It's so depressing to spend time and energy on something you're not proud of, and I'm afraid I have at least four more scripts like this before I really hit some kind of stride. Might as well add this alien thing to the body count. Seriously, a romantic comedy with aliens? When has that ever worked? Ever?

Regarding My Prediction That James Franco and Anne Hathaway's Oscar Night Co-Hosting Would Be "Good"

I was wrong.

Oscar Night Prediction Regarding the Performance of Anne Hathaway and James Franco As Hosts

It's going to be good.

Small Creative Thought Makes it Past Layers of School-Drenched Brain Matter, Heralded as Huge Success

Today I made a note on my whiteboard:

"Fight scene somewhere before page 50!"

I'm proud of that note.

Two Movies That Have Left Me Very Conflicted Of Late

Okay, so this is exactly the kind of movie I like to watch when I just need a break from the entire world. I cozy up in a chair with my glass of milk and a Nutty Bar, slap my headphones on and fire up the Netflix. Genre: period pieces. That's what I do. The cover of this one sold me instantly. I mean, look at all the information you get from just looking at it: she's pretty and obviously gets to marry that guy, who is way gorgeous in addition to having this serious and brooding quality, though void of the self-loathing that usually accompanies it. Then you've got the title, which immediately brings up grade school lessons from world history and you remember that Victoria was a young but well beloved queen and you think to yourself "how can this movie go wrong?"

Well, it does and it doesn't.

I mean, it essentially gets it all done. We see the young pre-queen Victoria and how her life was run by others. Then we have the young man who's family pushes him into winning her for political gain, then it turns out he actually does like her, but then there's this other older guy who she seems to be listening a whole lot to after she becomes queen and so where does that leave our brooding gentleman? Well, no worries because she gets over it and comes to her senses about the young man and does marry him, but then you've got the conflict of her being a queen and he just a prince and so there's a power struggle between them which is only escalated by the fact that he really does know better how to run the country but she takes that as an affront to her gender and all the preconceived ideas regarding that. But, once again, everything gets resolved after he saves her life (yeah, he totally jumps in front of a bullet for her - I love that crap). And it's all based on true events, so you're left with an even better feeling knowing that it may actually have happened that way, leaving open the very minuscule possibility that it may possibly even happen to you someday (even though you live in a democracy, are already married and statistically speaking there's a greater chance you'll be shot by your spouse rather than saved from being shot by him).

So, it's all there - every element you need in a historical romance drama. And yet, it falls flat somehow. It's very frustrating having to admit, because in a movie like this I am willing to suspend so much judgment and critique, and yet there were things I just couldn't let go. Like, for example, the struggle for Victoria's affection between the older politician Lord M and young, serious Albert. The way the writers went about this was exactly right: introduce the one you want her to be with early on (this would be Albert, of course, being introduced before she is queen), then create a huge change in her life (King dies, she succeeds to the crown), then introduce older wiser character with obvious ulterior motives to take her under his wing (Lord M), and a conflict is built in.

Then you have to make it apparent to the first suitor that there is now competition, and here's where I think they got a little muddled. They set it up like this: Victoria and Lord M have a scene together where he spouts off some idea that is obviously new to her; the next scene she's telling Albert "well, Lord M says this, and that and so on," and you see in Albert's eyes that he doesn't like this Lord M fellow. I guess that's fine, but just watching the movie I'm not completely convinced of Lord M's influence over her.

What would be more solidifying is this: Lord M spouts off new idea to Victoria, next scene Victoria spouts it off to Albert as if it were her own, Albert realizes this doesn't sound like her and suspects there is someone else behind it, which would be substantiated when he finally meets Lord M and hears him talk. Lord M's influence appears that much stronger if Victoria is stating his ideas as if they were her own. Then we know for sure what Albert only suspects, which makes us fear for him all the more because he doesn't know just how close he is to losing her. So instead of having just the one obstacle of winning her back, he has the added obstacle of having to find out that he does indeed have to win her back. The more obstacles, the more we a the audience can feel the doubt that allows us to fear for the characters we love the most. The more we fear for our beloved characters, the sweeter the victory when they succeed.

The takeaway for me here is this: place as many obstacles in front of your character's final goal so that your audience can really fear for them. We like to fear for our favorites, we really do, because once again it makes it that much sweeter when they really do succeed.

Changing the subject:

I do not want to like Ben Affleck. I just don't. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with this movie. It's pretty much perfect; even he's perfect in it. And there's the conflict. I really just wanted Ben Affleck to disappear into the has-been, had-one-good-movie-but-that's-over-now abyss. Then he goes and does something like this. And he doesn't just star in it, he flippin' goes and directs and co-writes the thing. It actually kind of pisses me off. Nicely played, Affleck. I hate your guts.

The Necessity Of A Writers' Group For Motivation And Overall Results

I think I've been pretty clear about the fact that I'm in school right now. Going to be a nurse. Yeah. So, some weeks the only creative writing I get done is sitting at a coffee shop across from Ditty sucking down some very inspiring caffeinated beverage. This is usually good for about five pages. Five pages a week is not exactly flying, but managing a snail's pace while maneuvering the very demanding world of medical academics is what it is. And frankly, it's better than a lot of other screenwriters who are less busy than myself (oh, and you know it).

All this is to say that a writers' group is important. It provides consistency, an environment removed from your other responsibilities, and at least one other person with which to share a common goal (which should keep you from completely losing your mind). It doesn't need to be fancy. Some of the time it's just me and Ditty, sometimes there's three of us, but it doesn't really matter. This is a time set apart for you to write.

"But couldn't I just do it alone? Why do I need someone else there? I don't like people."

Why must you plague me with these questions? The other person is not only a social outlet and a partner in crime, but also creates an expectation. In that moment when you're sitting at home, thinking about going to that coffee shop to write, you may want to take a nap instead except that you know someone is waiting for you and if you don't show up you'll have to make an excuse, plus they'll be kind of mad at you for standing them up and you'll have to deal with the intricacies of correcting that wrong so you might as well get up and go. See how that works?

If you write, I know you know others who write too. So, pick one or two you can stand and set a recurring day and time and location and get to it.