Fall Shows I'm Trying to Like Part One: Dracula

So, I really want to like this show. It meets a lot of my criteria: period piece, supernatural element, Jonathan Rhys Meyers. There's just something that's off about it. Or maybe, a few things.

First off, I don't like the back and forth with Meyer's accent. It's not that he isn't good at it, it's just that in a sea of refined British speakers any American sounds like a clumsy ox lumbering through the English language. I get that it's the character they've chosen to be played, but it nevertheless annoys me.

Second, the plot is slow moving and complicated. I like depth to my plots (Once Upon a Time is so thick with plot that I sometimes forget who is what and why for). But whereas Once makes sense, this storyline requires some disjointed leaps. Dracula is brought back to life to defeat a group of businessmen who are also in some weird cult and have done some terrible things like burning people alive. But instead of just killing them off one by one, as I would expect a bloodthirsty vampire would be apt to do, he's impersonating an American businessman introducing an alternate energy source to the coal which is where all these men have their money interest. Oh, and also these guys especially don't like vampires. And their ancestors may have made Dracula a vampire in the first place. 

Huh?

Thirdly, I realize we're going for a sexy vibe here, but is it really necessary that we have no less than two elaborate sexy times between the same two people every damn episode? Yeah, Dracula sleeping with the one female vampire hunter of the show is real tensey, but over and over and over? Really? I see what you're doing; I get it. Could someone else on this show have sex now? 

There are good things going on here. Visually, it's beautiful. The action is good. The acting is good; Jonathan Rhys Meyers perpetually looks as if he has just, or very soon will cry and yet I'm not annoyed by it. A chick vampire hunter and a virginal feminist have every potential to be eye-rollingly on point and overbearing, but they're not. 

Not annoying. 

I'm only four episodes in. It may be that some of the more confusing and/or annoying elements of the show will resolve themselves the further we go. If not, then not; I don't think it will prevent me from watching every week. It may be the costumes, it may be the overall dedication of the players, but there's enough going on here that I'm willing to make a concerted effort to ignore most of its faults and just like the thing. 

Plus, Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Duh. 

The CW Goes Medieval and That Rip in the Fabric of Time Thing Happens

Is this the worst thing to happen to television ever? I'll save you the trouble of thinking about it; yes it very much is. Why, god, why is it so hard for people in television to come together and make a good, accessible, medieval show that can also be available on Hulu or Netflix? Why? Game of Thrones, thank you; from the bottom of my heart you truly do make the world a better place, but for the love of corsets and man tights why can't I have something close to that level of period entertainment year round?

And who, exactly, was clamoring for a show about Mary, Queen of Scots to be made and marketed specifically for the tween audience? I mean, they don't know who this person is. They have no reference point; their knowledge of pop culture (formerly known as "history") doesn't even predate the first go around of Brittany Spears. I dare you to ask an average twelve-year-old girl how many wives Henry VIII had. In fact, simply ask them to identify a picture of him; you'll get the same blank stare.

Twelve-year-old girls have no idea who this guy is.

I mean, what's the point here? Are we trying to make 16th Century British Royals "cool" for the kids? Trying to slip in a little history lesson between Facebook updates and Googling pictures of...of...Bieber (Justin Bieber is still popular, right)? And if this is some weird attempt to teach something, then you're really missing the target on that one guys. I mean, look:

What is that supposed to be? I am no expert on textiles of Medieval history, but I suspect that is not a commonly occurring pattern in the 16th Century. Or even an uncommonly occurring pattern. I mean, what is that?

I nit-pick. But here's the thing: were the show actually good (decent script, good acting, a basic plot that goes beyond the predictable love triangle and the almost painful, clumsy attempt to introduce a supernatural component), I wouldn't care about the clothes. I wouldn't give two shades of grey about the historical accuracy. I just want a show that takes place in Medieval England Europe, the Isles, anywhere! And that doesn't suck. 

And just for the kids, this is Mary, Queen of Scots:

Really bad taste in men, as the story goes.