!
This just in: I'm going to my very first Austin Film Festival. I want to thank God, and the great city of Austin, the illustrious and enigmatic art and science of movie-making (like, the entire concept of it) and also John August, whom I will be stalking like a deranged but mostly harmless and not at all homicidal psychopath throughout the festival. Also, James Franco and Bill Murray - fair warning.
Flowers for me? Oh, you.
My good friend and manager Ditty, in her all-encompassing wisdom (likely enhanced to superhero status by her pregnancy hormones), has given me a few pointers. In addition to her experienced suggestions (this not being her first AFF rodeo), I have come up with a few pointers of my own (not being one to let lack of experience on a certain subject prevent me from handing out advice on that same subject).
AFF Pointers for the First-Timer, from a First-Timer:
1. Live in Austin. I feel this is a no-brainer. This city is going to be crowded as shit in a Tyson chicken coop; crowded as chickens in a Tyson chicken coop (I just watched this documentary, and long story short: don't eat Tyson chicken).
2. Own a bike. You do not want to park downtown during AFF. I just have this feeling that it won't work well.
3. Pack snacks. Apparently, food is scarce at AFF. So gather your Cliff bars, your apples and bananas, your small packets of squeezable peanut butter, shove them in that bag with your pen and notebook and get ready for a day of chaos and rushing from one conference venue to another.
4. Bring paper and pen. And backpack.
5. Have good looking business cards. This one is hard to really visualize. Does a name and an email/blog address and the title "aspiring screenwriter (question mark?) really constitute the need for business cards? Should I put my picture on there? Put a bird on it? I don't know. Maybe I could just write it on your notebook if you want to keep in touch that terribly bad. Where do you even get business cards? What about a poster with those little tear off thingies at the bottom, like one you use when looking for a lead singer for your band? Now I'm over thinking it.
6. Don't dress like an idiot. I think sometimes we writers think "oh, I'm a writer; I can dress like a slob because I'm creative and stuff and don't really care about my appearance." No. Negative. You do care, everyone cares. Shower up, put on some decent looking jeans and a fashionable shirt (you know, the kind with buttons), dab on some lip gloss (girls, I'm talking to you) and for god's sake it wouldn't kill you to accessories a little. Come on. We're screenwriters, not graphic designers. This is not a gamers' convention. You're not getting your PhD in astrophysics quantum mechanics math science (you see where I'm going with this).
As a closing remark, let me just say that I am pretty much beside myself with excitement. I've been in Austin a year now, been out of nursing school a year and a half. It's time to get connected. It's time to get motivated. It's high time to finish a new screenplay. I tell you, high time!
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