Magic Is Ruining My Life

Tale as old as time, I know, but this is getting to be a problem. I have things to do: clean this space, write a screenplay, sew stuff, write a screenplay. I wake up with every intention of doing these things, but instead I watch Merlin.

I think to myself, "I'll just watch this one episode and then get right to work," but Netflix tricks me with its autoplay and five hours later I realize I haven't moved. And I'm hungry. And I need to pee, like really bad. This went on for about three seasons, and as much as I knew I was going to miss it (and as pissed as I am that Netflix doesn't carry season four), I was glad.

Then I discovered this:

Damn it. All my favorite storybook characters in one place? And they don't know who they are? How am I supposed to just overlook this and go back to menial tasks, like putting clothes in the dryer or packing a lunch for work tomorrow? Or showering. How? It wasn't going to happen, and it didn't.

Weeks of my life, gone. Wonderfully, blissfully gone, but still gone. And I have about, roughly, four pages written in my screenplay. And that only after I ran out of episodes on Netflix and have to wait for weekly updates on Hulu like a commoner. If Netflix ever picks up Grimm, then I'll be screwed all over again (they don't have it, I've checked).

I don't know what this fascination with magic shows is about, but on the totem pole of most productive ways to procrastinate writing, watching magic shows is pretty low. Example:

Most Productive Ways to Procrastinate Actual Writing:

1. Clean apartment

2. Do laundry

3. Read book (like, a real book)

4. Sew something

5. Call loved ones

6. Go to a movie

7. Browse Huffington Post

8. Online shopping

9. Watch magic shows

10. Nap

There you have it. For the time being it's under control. Merlin is all but lost to me since Season 4 is nowhere to be found and Season 5 is only available to people with a TV. Once Upon A Time pops up on Hulu weekly, and as long as I am not made aware of any other magic shows I may be able to actually finish this script.

So, for the love of god, don't tell me where I can watch the first season of Grimm. Especially don't leave that information in the comments section below. With hyperlinks.

OMG, Exquisite Corpse Project!!

Me and exclamation points lately; I don't know what's going on, but rest assured it cannot, will not continue. That being said:

Exquisite Corpse Project!!!

Trust me, you have no idea.

That I haven't mentioned this movie yet is a crime so unfathomable they've yet to make it a crime. Part documentary, part disjointed sic-fi/comedy/noir/drama/romance and completely hilarious. The gist of it is that five comedy writers (formerly of Olde English, for the most part) were brought together and given the assignment of writing a movie. However! They each had to write their fifteen pages of the movie only knowing the previous writer's last five pages.

It sounds like a disaster, but because these crazy, brilliant, hilarious guys also think it's crazy and are, likely, crazy themselves it makes for one incredible experience. I don't know how available this thing is going to be to those of you (commoners) who can't get out to a film festival, but my official advice is that you sell everything you own and move to a city with a film festival on the mere chance that it might be shown there. That's my official advice.

Exquisite Corpse Project!!!