Nano Is Coming!

If you're cool, you call it Nano. If you're not cool, you say National Novel Writing Month. "Whoa, whoa, whoa" you're thinking, "I thought you were a screenwriter?" Well, I am (okay, so I'm not, but go with me on this), but novels are fun, especially novels that have to be written in one month. 50,000 word novels that have to be written in one month. If you don't think that sounds fun, then how weird are you?

It's a literary vacation is what it is. You just sit at your computer and take a trip far away from structure, style and sense (yeah, this book is going to be greeeeeeeat). It's dangerous. It's super dangerous, and being dangerous is fun, especially when it's done in the privacy of your own home or a well lit, public coffee house (and not late at night at the coffee shop. And not the coffee shop with the one guy that stares at me sometimes when he doesn't think I can see him out of the corner of my eye).

What I'm kind of driving at here is I think you should do it with me. Mostly because it would be really good for you, but also because misery loves company. But mostly because I think misery loves company. Just do it. Do it. Dooooooo it.

This is going to be fun!

People Are the Greatest Stories

Thanks to Roger for reminding me of that. And that's the most awesome thing about being a writer (okay, so everything is the most awesome thing about being a writer, but for today we'll just make this one the most awesome), every part of your life, even when it has nothing to do with writing, has everything to do with story. Being a stressed out, Oreo addicted nursing student is a story. Granted, not my kind of story right off the bat - too melodramatic, and way too much crying. I'd have to throw something in there, like, all the faculty are actually aliens, but really funny aliens that are terribly unorganized and have no idea themselves how to take over a planet like ours, but they're still dangerous because they like to suck our brains out. That's a better story. Still, it's there.

I'm not writing anything creative right now because of school, and that is profoundly frustrating to me. But I have to remind myself of the concept of phases. Sometimes the writing process involves periods of not writing, or "incubation" phases. I'm just in a really, really crappy incubation phase right now. And, considering I have three distinct, and pretty well planned out screenplays up in there, this incubation could last a while. Probably about as long as, say, a typical first year of nursing school would last. I may be able to eek out a little something over Christmas break, but even the thought of that is getting my hopes up, and that I have to avoid altogether. First, the hopes go up, then the expectations rise, then I resolve on writing something, the resolve comes and goes without anything to show for it but the incredible guilt associated with letting myself down. So, yeah, no hopes up. Hopes must stay down, way down.

Who's tired of hearing about this? I see that hand. I see that hand.

Look at this instead:

Go see this movies. Shhhhhh, don't ask any questions, just go see it. You can catch a matinee, I don't even care, just see it.

There. That was for you.

The End of All Motivation

I'm talking about nursing school. I hate nursing school. I realize how bad that sounds now that I've actually written it down, but that's basically it. You know how many butts I wiped on Wednesday? Four. Four butts. Well, not four butts, it was the same butt four times. Same difference. And it's not even that. I don't mind wiping butts. Somebody's got to do it, and I'm the student, so I do it. It's probably worse to be the guy who has to have his butt wiped four times because the doctor was blasting him with fiber and laxatives, and the CP prevents him from getting out of bed to use the bathroom for himself, so he has to go on a bedpan, if he can make it, otherwise he just has to go in the bed, and tell me that's not embarrassing. Yeah, it's definitely much worse to be that guy.

Back to me.

I can't write. Even posting this blog is kind of painful. I've written nothing but a five page scene for a contest that, frankly, wasn't that great. The scene, I mean. The contest is fine. I have a pretty decent beginning to a screenplay that I have not touched since school started. I got nothing. It's not that I don't want to be a nurse, it's just that being a nursing student sucks, and what sucks worse than that alone is that I don't have anything left after doing all my sucky nursing homework to devote to what I really like to do, which is write. I'm not even keeping up with my nursing blog. Nothing. The only thing I haven't lost motivation for is watching TV. Still love to watch TV. Lots of TV. And ice cream. So much ice cream, you wouldn't believe. I'm actually going to quit writing this now, and go get some ice cream. There's been a lot of ice cream on sale lately.

Inglorious = Glorious!

Okay, listen closely, and just trust me on this. Anyone who tells you this movie is not worth seeing has no idea what they're talking about - no idea. Or, they are willfully deceiving you, and I don't know which is worse. For the first fifteen minutes, I'm sitting in this movie thinking "okay, how long can this scene possibly last? If the whole movie is like this, then I don't know if I'm going to - whoa! Did that just happen? Oh, no!" and tension ensues. In fact, this whole movie is a study in proper tension-building. I'm not even a big Tarantino fan; sometimes I just don't get the guy, but this time I did. This time, he blew me away. It takes a genius. Write a twenty minute scene? No problem. Write a twenty minute scene that holds people's attention and ends in such a way that it completely justifies ever second of the time spent building to that point? That takes Tarantino. Watch and understand what it is to take your time and do it right. What it is to wow with skill and words and not just visual tricks of the trade. If you told me you had a fifteen minute stretch of your script where two guys are just sitting at a table talking, I'd tell you to cut that down to three minutes, and have them doing something. But Tarantino does it. I'll never be able to do it, but Tarantino does it. And he does it very well.

Music and Lyrics and Your Script

"I'm coming up only

to hold

you under.

I'm coming up only

to show

you wrong."

-Band of Horses

I love this. I mean, I love Band of Horses, I love the music, and I love-love the lyrics. I don't even get lyrics, usually. I'm not a poem person, I'm not deep like that; I'm either deep in some other way, or I'm not deep at all. But these words, look at them. Say them to yourself. How cool are they? What a weird and clear motivation for someone. "I'm coming up only to hold you under." Oooh. Can you feel it? I imagine there's this guy, and he's drowning, he's going down. And he doesn't have enough energy left to save himself, but then he sees this other guy making it to the top of the water, and he knows this guy, and he knows he can't let that happen. So he finds within himself something that was not there when it was only his life at stake, but there it is when he sees this guy getting away, and he gets himself to the top of the water so that he can put his hand on this guy's head and just push him down into the water. Yikes! What a character! What a wonderful example of a strong, compelling story. Why? Why is he coming up only to hold this other person under? What has this other guy done? What could he possibly have done? And how can I make a movie about it? If only.

Listen to the song. You're going to be a fan.

New Project Anouncement!

A few posts ago, I lamented my sorry state after hearing that my money tree script idea had been written by someone else. However, after relating this dilemma to some other writers, including you my faithful readers, I received overwhelming encouragement to write it anyway. I mean, the other one hasn't been sold, and my treatment of it is so different. But more than all the rationalizing I could ever do on my own, it's pretty much because everyone around me is saying "go for it." I trust you people. So I'm going to go for it.

Thanks.

Goodbye, Goodland!

Well, it's off. My most favoritist script I've ever written is now in the hands of professionals, and I anxiously await their feedback. Kind of. Kind of not. Really, there are two scenarios going on in my head that represents the two possible extremes. In my wildest dreams, it goes something like this:

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Two READERS drudgingly sift through piles of papers. Each script is worse than the last, as evidenced by their frequent sighs. Dropping a particularly bad one, Reader 1 turns to the other.

READER 1

They don't pay me nearly enough for this.

READER 2

Word.

READER 1

I swear, if I read another vampire script I'm going to bite my own wrists open.

READER 2

What if the vampires are cheerleaders?

READER 1

You're joking.

Reader 2 holds up a scripts titled "Bring It On: Blood Lust!" Reader 1 has just enough energy left to roll his eyes.

READER 2

I need a new job.

READER 1

I've lost the will to live.

READER 2

One more script before we throw in.

READER 1

Fine. What about this one.

READER 2

Goodland? Wow, that's actually a decent title.

READER 1

Yeah.

The two Readers thumb through the manuscript.

READER 1

Pages look nice. Good formatting, nice use of white space. Hey, I think they even spell checked!

READER 2

Are you reading this?

READER 1

Why? What is it?

The two give the script more attention. With each turn of the page, the Readers look more and more excited. Their eyes open wider, their backs straighten. Can it be?

READER 1

What action lines! It's as if I'm really there, seeing the whole thing unfold.

READER 2

And the dialogue. So natural, yet hilarious and, at times, riveting!

READER 1

These characters, so three-dimensional. I can't stop reading. I have to know what happens next, and somehow, I don't know how, but I care! My life is suddenly worth living.

READER 2

You're right. This movie has inspired me. I'm going to go back to college and finish my degree.

READER 1

I'm going to go home and spend time with my family.

READER 2

But first, we have to show this to someone.

READER 1

You mean the literary agent who gives us kickbacks to recommend new writers to her?

READER 2

No, not that boss.

READER 1

You mean the studio exec who pads our salary in exchange for floating him exciting new scripts?

READER 2

No. I mean the big one. The Boss.

READER 1

You mean your uncle, Peter Jackson?

READER 2

Yeah. And my second cousin-in-law, George Lucas. He's been looking for a heartwarming comedy.

READER 1

Great! Let's not waste any time!

Energized by their find, the two Readers rush out of the room, leaving their paperwork and their pessimism behind.

FADE OUT

But in the real world, it will more likely go something like this:

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Two READERS sift through piles of papers. One of them sighs.

READER 1

The good ones are getting fewer and farther between.

READER 2

I know. This one has cheerleading vampires in it.

READER 1

Cheerleading vampires? Vampires are hot right now. So are cheerleaders.

READERS 2

Cheerleaders are always hot.

READER 1

Word. Put that one on the maybe pile. What else you got?

READER 2

Here's one about a guy who builds a resort in Austria.

READER 1

Austria? Sounds expensive. Casting would be a nightmare. Shooting would have to be on location.

READER 2

I've never been to Austria. Is that by Germany?

READER 1

Yeah. Hmm... Germany... How about Brats for lunch?

READER 2

Ooh, that sounds good.

READER 1

Cool, let's go.

READER 2

What about this script?

READER 1

Did they send a check with it?

READER 2

Yeah.

READER 1

Good. We can use that money to buy our brats.

READER 2

Sweet!

The two Readers turn to go. In his haste to get his brat, Reader 1 knocks the Goodland script to the floor, where Reader 2 unknowingly kicks it under the rug, where it stays forever.

So, those are the two possibilities, as I see it. As much as I would love for them to go gaga over my script, in all likelihood, they will probably just read it, write notes on it, and return it to me. Which is fine. It's not really fine, but it is. I will learn from it, and become a better writer for it. And eventually, maybe, hopefully, all this learning and growing and improving will turn into something more tangible than the "building of my character."