INT. OFFICE - DAY
Two READERS drudgingly sift through piles of papers. Each script is worse than the last, as evidenced by their frequent sighs. Dropping a particularly bad one, Reader 1 turns to the other.
READER 1
They don't pay me nearly enough for this.
READER 2
Word.
READER 1
I swear, if I read another vampire script I'm going to bite my own wrists open.
READER 2
What if the vampires are cheerleaders?
READER 1
You're joking.
Reader 2 holds up a scripts titled "Bring It On: Blood Lust!" Reader 1 has just enough energy left to roll his eyes.
READER 2
I need a new job.
READER 1
I've lost the will to live.
READER 2
One more script before we throw in.
READER 1
Fine. What about this one.
READER 2
Goodland? Wow, that's actually a decent title.
READER 1
Yeah.
The two Readers thumb through the manuscript.
READER 1
Pages look nice. Good formatting, nice use of white space. Hey, I think they even spell checked!
READER 2
Are you reading this?
READER 1
Why? What is it?
The two give the script more attention. With each turn of the page, the Readers look more and more excited. Their eyes open wider, their backs straighten. Can it be?
READER 1
What action lines! It's as if I'm really there, seeing the whole thing unfold.
READER 2
And the dialogue. So natural, yet hilarious and, at times, riveting!
READER 1
These characters, so three-dimensional. I can't stop reading. I have to know what happens next, and somehow, I don't know how, but I care! My life is suddenly worth living.
READER 2
You're right. This movie has inspired me. I'm going to go back to college and finish my degree.
READER 1
I'm going to go home and spend time with my family.
READER 2
But first, we have to show this to someone.
READER 1
You mean the literary agent who gives us kickbacks to recommend new writers to her?
READER 2
No, not that boss.
READER 1
You mean the studio exec who pads our salary in exchange for floating him exciting new scripts?
READER 2
No. I mean the big one. The Boss.
READER 1
You mean your uncle, Peter Jackson?
READER 2
Yeah. And my second cousin-in-law, George Lucas. He's been looking for a heartwarming comedy.
READER 1
Great! Let's not waste any time!
Energized by their find, the two Readers rush out of the room, leaving their paperwork and their pessimism behind.
FADE OUT
But in the real world, it will more likely go something like this:
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Two READERS sift through piles of papers. One of them sighs.
READER 1
The good ones are getting fewer and farther between.
READER 2
I know. This one has cheerleading vampires in it.
READER 1
Cheerleading vampires? Vampires are hot right now. So are cheerleaders.
READERS 2
Cheerleaders are always hot.
READER 1
Word. Put that one on the maybe pile. What else you got?
READER 2
Here's one about a guy who builds a resort in Austria.
READER 1
Austria? Sounds expensive. Casting would be a nightmare. Shooting would have to be on location.
READER 2
I've never been to Austria. Is that by Germany?
READER 1
Yeah. Hmm... Germany... How about Brats for lunch?
READER 2
Ooh, that sounds good.
READER 1
Cool, let's go.
READER 2
What about this script?
READER 1
Did they send a check with it?
READER 2
Yeah.
READER 1
Good. We can use that money to buy our brats.
READER 2
Sweet!
The two Readers turn to go. In his haste to get his brat, Reader 1 knocks the Goodland script to the floor, where Reader 2 unknowingly kicks it under the rug, where it stays forever.
So, those are the two possibilities, as I see it. As much as I would love for them to go gaga over my script, in all likelihood, they will probably just read it, write notes on it, and return it to me. Which is fine. It's not really fine, but it is. I will learn from it, and become a better writer for it. And eventually, maybe, hopefully, all this learning and growing and improving will turn into something more tangible than the "building of my character."
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